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Post by shadowreaper on Oct 4, 2013 19:10:11 GMT
hi everyone you may not know me very well but my name is callum im 16 from wales and i have written a short story it took me a couple of hours i would love to hear you opinions on it as writing is something i like and i would be grateful of any feedback also if you would prefer it pasted into here instead of uploaded as a file just say the visitor 1.rtf (36.37 KB)
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Post by korrupt on Oct 14, 2013 20:11:44 GMT
You need to format this for readability. I was gonna read it, but the wall of text makes it unattractive. Define individual paragraphs to increase readability.
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Post by shadowreaper on Oct 19, 2013 16:33:23 GMT
paragraphs are not something i know right now i will be learning them soon but until then im fucked really
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Post by falka on Oct 20, 2013 15:24:24 GMT
1) Callum is like, one of my favorite names ever and is actually on my list for possible future sons, so yaaaaaaay!
2) Yeah, I couldn't read it, because of the lack of paragraphs. Generally speaking, you would make a new paragraph as a new though starts, or when a new action begins. I was looking through it a bit and though that when the horses stop before the manor would be a good paragraph break, then maybe when the visitor gets out of the carriage. As new sequences start a new paragraph is generally acceptable. Good luck!
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Post by erzascarlet on Jan 14, 2015 15:15:31 GMT
there is some content but grammar and wordings are too much.. needs really some rephrasings.. i dont know if this is still up.. its been years here..
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